they are the bane of my existence. they are a virus—a plague that has spread through my closet and ravaged my clothes. they have gone so far as to infect my mind, so that i only buy clothes that will nurture them.
yes, i’m talking about wrinkles.
i have a closet full of shirts that i really, really like. most of them are flat-bottom shirts from kweejibo, a local store that makes custom shirts with cool fabrics and unusual patterns. it’s the first time in years that i haven’t been burdened with shirts i have to tuck in (the only thing i hate more than wrinkles). yet just about every shirt in my closet has a fatal flaw: they wrinkle when you look at them sideways. i put one of these shirts on, and within about 12 seconds, the bottom 8 inches of the shirt are a mess (usually after i sit down on the bus, on the way to work).
and so, what’s been happening lately is that i wear the wrinkle-attractors once, get home, hang them up, and then leave them there, infected. because i hate ironing all the time, they just sit there, taunting me. i get up in the morning, open my closet, and pull shirts out, one by one, doing the wrinkle assessment. usually, one or two shirts will pass muster, but the rest are lost causes. and so they sit there, until the next time i feel like ironing (which is usually about once a month).
i’ve actually started to feel a little OCD about my wrinkly shirts. i’ve taken to surreptitious visual surveys of the other guys in the office to see if their shirts are wrinkled, too. t-shirts don’t count of course, which means that half the dudes provide no data (it’s always casual friday at our office). the other half offer a mixed bag. some people seem to pull the wrinkly thing off, looking like they’re runway models and the whole wrinkled thing is intentional, you know what i’m sayin’? the other half don’t appear to be wrinkled at all.
and so i’m left in a conundrum. do i go with the wrinkles and see if i can pull off the "my shirt is wrinkled and i don’t care" thing, or do i start ironing more?
either way you slice it, i still think about wrinkles in my shirts way, way too much.
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