Monthly Archives: July 2003

bots in your pants?

dockers has made the leap to using nanotechnology in their pants.

or wait…no…we’re sorry!!! heh. we’re just corporate bozos using scientific terminology as a smokescreen to make it look like we’re releasing new and innovative products.

[note: their web site doesn't contain any references to nanotechnology, which means either they removed their "unintentional" gaffe, or CNN.com fabricated the whole story.]

into the fires

from "Dynamic HTML: The Definitive Reference (2nd Edition)" by Danny Goodman:

"…[Netscape] Navigator 4 has become a dead-end development platform, whose installed base will only decrease over time.

Despite the fact that some organizations have continued to standardize on Navigator 4 while waiting to migrate to a more modern browser platform, this edition of ‘Dynamic HTML: The Definitive Reference’ cuts the cord with the Navigator 4 past. If you need assistance and examples of scripting Navigator 4 DHTML, consult the first edition of this title."

and so Navigator 4, despite its well-intentioned efforts, was cast into the fires of perdition and forgetfulness. and a wave of joy spread across the land of web developers, as they rejoiced at the decline and eventual fall of their nemesis. and it was good.

upgrade and die

a few weeks ago, i upgraded this blog to use Movable Type 2.64. or so i thought. after digging around and doing some other work with 2.64 (entry coming soon), i realized that things were completely fubared.

and so i did the obligatory rtfm. i read the manual. i waded through hundreds of support threads and web sites and Movable Type help forums. and then i gave up. i scrapped it all and re-installed everything from scratch. sometimes this seems to be the only way to kill the boojums.

of course, it also means i stay up until 1:30am fussing with my stupid blog. but hey, now it’s syndicated in XML! [the crowd yawns]

flotsametrics

on january 10, 1992, a great tragedy occurred on the high seas. a cargo ship going from hong kong to seattle was swallowed by a terrible storm. when it emerged from the maelstrom after a long, dark night, several 30-ft cargo containers had been washed overboard. one of them contained a shipment of toys; not your garden-variety toys, mind you, but 29,000 yellow rubber duckies, blue turtles, red beavers, and green frogs.

all were presumed lost at sea, never to be cherished by small children in bathtubs across america, never to be chewed lovingly by the family dog. a brief memorial service was held by the captain to mark their passing.

but wait! ten months later, our intrepid little friends began washing up on the shores of sitka, alaska, and have been circling the oceans of the globe ever since. nations rejoiced, and 11 years of oceanographic research was spawned (a science now referred to as ‘flotsametrics’, its practitioners calling themselves ‘driftologists’).

when asked why they engineered these little toys to be so tough, the chinese engineers replied, ‘well, we didn’t want some poor child to cry because his rubber ducky sank in the bathtub.’

segs away!

as i was walking home from the corner store this morning, what should i see rolling down the street, but a Segway.

i was beginning to think these things were a massive hoax perpetrated by Amazon and dean kamen, but it turns out that my conspiracy theory had a flat tire. yes, folks, for the small price of $4950, you too can buy your piece of transportation history.

or is it just a bunch of marketing hype?

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blog tech

i am now convinced that blogs, and other forms of social networks, are driving a massive amount of innovation on the web.

while this may strike some as patently obvious, it just hit me in the face like an unwelcome (yet necessary) slap. it always happens like this…i pull one ignorant thread on the sweater of my life, and pretty soon it’s unraveled at my feet, and i’m cold and shivering, painfully aware of all the sh*t i don’t know. again.

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