al Barney

in an effort to create a kinder, gentler method of interrogating enemy soldiers, the US has resorted to something so sinister, so terrifying, that i’m certain i’ll be having nightmares for weeks to come.

i’m talking, of course, about Barney (your favorite purple dinosaur and mine).

it appears that iraqi soldiers are being forced to listen to Barney, as well as things like Metallica’s "Enter Sandman", in an effort to break their resolve and thus force them to spill the WMD beans, as it were. in the words of one US soldier (quoted in this week’s Newsweek):

"These people haven’t heard heavy metal before…They can’t take it."

who needs hans blix…we’ve got Barney! now, we might have issues with Barney and Colin Powell giving a joint address to the UN Security Council, but i’m sure Bush’s spin doctors could figure something out. after all, look at their boss.

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2 thoughts on “al Barney

  1. ryan hoguet

    they should make captured soldiers listen to our president ramble on about freedom and cheese grits and his dogs…..

    Reply
  2. pete jackson

    Or maybe we could have them listen to Clinton parsing words while describing the vast right wing conspiracy against him, you know, how he didn’t have “sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky”?; or we can just have him tell the captives how he “feels their pain”. Yes, that would be sweet.
    Actually, let’s just put the terrorists up in a W Hotel in San Francisco and give them hug therapy! That would be nice and P.C.!
    Get over it, man. This is a new reality in the war against the psychotic holy war murderers.
    You should be more concerned about people getting their heads chopped off by nutty muslims in the name of God. Remember Daniel Pearl? Remember Nick Berg? Remember the wandering Palestinians who want to claim land they are not entitled to and spend all their time training as homicide bombers?
    Lest I forget: the 3,000 dead in New York, the numerous dead in Pennsylvania, the Pentagon deaths, the Anthrax deaths, the embassy bombings and hostage takings since 1970s. Yes, we should definitely pursue the “Be Nice to Terrorists Strategy”.
    Stop dropping the MOVEON.org LSD and you’ll become a sane, rational person again…

    Reply

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