upwards and sideways

i wasn’t really going to write about the fact that the layoff grim reaper finally caught up with me last week. it’s a reality that a lot of other people have faced, and under more challenging circumstances, so i’ve got no business complaining. it is a little harder to digest than i thought it would be, though.

sadness and loss, coupled with a lot of unexpected relief, are there, but the real issue for me is direction (or the lack thereof). up until a week ago, work provided a one-way road through life, with pretty good signage. weekends and occasional evenings allowed for convenience-store stops and exciting detours, but the path from point A to point B was always pretty clear. for me, being laid off is like being drugged against your will, then dropped in a foreign country without a map. you find a wad of welcome cash in your pocket, and the locals assure you that a good time can be had, although things can get a little sketchy in some places. enjoy.

i had conveniently forgotten that life comes without maps – no “lonely planet for the unemployed” or “fodor’s dot.com wasteland”. so now, i’m trying to get the lay of the land, and feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. there is a seemingly endless array of lazy rest stops, some good camping spots, a few beaches, and a lot of terra incognita. time to become friends with ambiguity and start down the road.

if you happen to find a map of terra incognita, could you send it my way? i’ll be checking my email pretty regularly.

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