noe valley parking

after that last deeply philosophical entry, a light entry seems appropriate, something to cleanse the mental palate (or scrape off the burned noodles, as it were). i was looking for parking the other day, and it occurred to me there are several laws at work when it comes to parking here (and maybe elsewhere):

  1. desperation breeds failure when it comes to parking.
  2. after parking your car, a closer space will always appear as you walk to your destination.
  3. if you have to drive around the block or make a u-turn to get a spot, you won’t.
  4. any spot that looks too tight for your car is.
  5. assumptions are usually misplaced when it comes to the charity of towing-hungry homeowners (see previous law for corollary).

  6. tickets for street cleaning violations are dispensed with 100% efficiency, counter to all known laws of physics and human behavior.
  7. the more you have to carry, the further you will park from home.
  8. the likelihood of forgetting where your car is parked is proportional to the probability that you will get a ticket before you remember.
  9. on any day when you can’t recall on which side of the street your car sits, it will always be on the side where street cleaning is happening that day (see previous law for corollary).
  10. parking is still better in noe valley than it is in the Haight or North Beach.

and so i circle the streets with the other residents of noe valley, sharks in search of the perfect prey – a big spot, with clear curb cuts, close to home.

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